You know, I’m not the most romantic guy in the smooth, Don Juan sort of way. It really takes hard work for me to plan and execute elaborate gifts or gestures. I have found, however, that while my wife does appreciate those from time to time, it’s the little things that add up that really count. Coming up with romantic things to do for your wife needn’t be complicated. It just takes effort.
Don’t believe me? Listen to what the experts at Psychology Today have to say…
Most people don’t try romantic activities because they simply don’t know how. Here’s a hint: there are no secrets to romance. Most of the time, everything we need to know is right under our noses.
Here’s a list of some romantic things I do well. Some of them I suck at and want to improve. But in my experience all of them excel at showing her you care about her. That you THINK about her. That she is important. That she is loved.
I hope these tips help you create more closeness in your marriage.
1. Say good morning to her
Before you look at your phone. Before you brush your teeth. Ok, maybe after you go pee. But definitely put this at the top of your agenda. Say good morning to her. Smile and make eye contact. Get the day off on the right foot.
2. Put your phone down and talk.
I throw a lot of shade at people being on their phone too much. But only because I care (And I’m guilty sometimes too). Come up with a plan. A time of day. Whatever. Pick a point in your life to be untethered to your devices. Look up and talk to each other. Try it. You’ll like it.
3. Buy her flowers, just because.
Unless she doesn’t like flowers, of course. I guarantee that if she doesn’t, she has already said so multiple times. If you didn’t hear her, you were probably looking at your phone. Wait, are you looking at your phone right now? Ahh, it’s allright. You’re reading this. So you get a pass. After you’re done here, if you don’t know if your wife likes flowers, try to find out. Then buy some if she does. Try SendFlowers.com. (Affiliate link)
4. Leave her handwritten notes.
I need to do this one more often. Any time I do, I don’t regret it. Not many things show you care than leaving a small handwritten note. “Hey I was just thinking of you and wanted to tell you I love the life we have together. -Love, Me.” It’s that simple.
5. Check her Amazon Wish List. Buy something from it.
It took me a while to catch on to this one. Ok, I didn’t really catch on. My wife had to remind me several times that she has an Amazon wish list, and those are things she ACTUALLY wants. So it’s no surprise that when I bought her something from it—a handbag she had been wanting—she was delighted. Go figure. (Hint: It wasn’t about the stuff. It was about listening. More on that coming up).
6. Create a united front against your kids.
Nothing—and I mean nothing —will get you hotter for each other than putting a plan together to get your kids in bed, especially after a rough day with them. Work closely with her to thwart whatever evening hellscape your little monsters have created, and I think you’ll like the results.
7. Listen. Don’t Fix.
This is almost too cliché. Probably because it bears repeating over and over and over. Sometimes it takes hearing something a number of times before it starts to make sense. Sometimes we just need time to grow up a little to get it right.
But listen to her. You’ll find that listening permeates a lot of my marriage posts. Probably because it’s the cornerstone of good communication. People in general like to feel like they have a safe place to talk without judgement or guilt. What better place than in the bounds of your own marriage?
8. Play with her hair.
My wife likes it. I bet yours will too. Do it without expectation or agenda. Just connect. If not the hair, find another way to connect with her physically. Maybe just rub her back for a little while.
9. Make her laugh
Laughing is my favorite pastime. Making others laugh is probably second. But making my wife laugh doesn’t even categorize. It transcends all. I love bringing a smile to her face with a joke or funny commentary. Taking on life with some chuckles it makes it all worthwhile. If you’re the one making her laugh. That’s a good thing. I really think that laughter is one of the greatest spiritual connections between two people. Cherish every minute you can.
10. Take care of everything for a date night.
I’m not one of these macho manly man-bro’s. But for real. Man up and take care of the date night once in a while. Pick the restaurant. Pick what to do. Arrange the babysitter. Drive everywhere. Pay for everything. Hell, show up at your own doorstep and ring the doorbell when you’re ready to go. Admittedly I’m not the best at this one, but I want to do better. I’m writing this to me as much as I am to you. Do it. It’ll be worth it.
11. Make date nights a priority.
If you can’t make it a weekly or even monthly occasion get out when you can. Take every opportunity. And for the love of God don’t spend half of it getting groceries to take home.
12. Work hard on yourself.
Self-improvement is sexy, so I’ve found. It’s a cumulative game, however. You’re not gonna wake up one day and have all your shit together. But really put forth the effort, and talk with your wife about progress. Set some small goals. Reach them. Then set some new ones with bigger responsibilities and payoffs. Be the best you can be for her and your family.
Here comes the L word again. Listen carefully for what she feels you need improvement on. Feedback is a good if given in a healthy way. Accept your shortcomings, but don’t dwell on them. Always be moving FORWARD. The longer you put off working on bettering yourself, the harder it will be to right the ship as you get older, especially when it comes to your health. One foot in front of the other is better than not moving at all.
13. Don’t make everything about sex. But definitely make some stuff about sex.
No relationship can remain healthy without physical intimacy. But horn-doggin’ on your wife all the time is probably a turn-off. I’m just guessing. Maybe she just wants a hug sometimes.
On the other side of the coin, lack of sexual contact can be a problem. Life. Stress. Busyness. It can put the brakes on your sex life as a couple. Even if you don’t make it to a full roll in the hay as much as you want, at least make the effort to let her know you’re still interested. A sneaky double entendre. A playful look. A quick touch or kiss on the neck. Some sort of signal that you’re still in the game and hot for her.
Just Do it…
By now you should be getting the idea that this doesn’t have to be rocket science to pull off. It’s just about paying attention and putting someone else first for a while. Everything you need to inject romance into your relationship is within your grasp.
You just gotta do it.
Am I missing anything? What romantic things do you do for your wife?
Wives, what do you WISH your husband would do for you?
Hit me up in the comments because I want to know! 🙂
Also, don’t forget to share with your friends (or husband) who needs to know some of this stuff.